Chixtape III
Yo good morning beloved. It's the one the and the only Mr. 10,000 Fire Emojis a.k.a The Living Red 100 Emoji a.k.a. Greatness In Blog Form or just simply Andonis. This is right here is my first music review so I'm need y'all to bare with me as I strap in for this new and uncharted territory in writing for me.
Now I'll keep it real with y'all, because I don't know how to be fake, I've heard of this Tory Lanez dude but I never really gave him a listen. Like the dude is from Canada. The only thing musically good to come out of Canada was Justin Bieber, who just so happens to be holding the entire game down right now. Like even black people love him now. That luckily takes some pressure off of Tory so yeah, enough of this introductories. Let's get into this mixtape.
1. Keisha's Intro (Skit)
This ain't nothing special just a regular skit setting up the mixtape to give some kinda story blah blah blah it's whatever.
*0 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
2. Came 4 Me
This a dope song with a throwback to 90s R&B that I'm sure most of these crazy kids alive today were born too. Smooth like coco butter. It's kinda like if drake could sing.... yeah.
*8,000 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
3. N.A.M.E.
OOOHHHH no he didn't. A throwback to my light skin boo Alicia Keys. *Single manly tear falls from eye* Good job Tory.... Good job... Basically, this girl playing like she know him but he know she doesn't because he not really out here poppin like that. Dude pretty self-aware about where his career is at right now.
It's crazy when people know about but they don't really know you. They think they have an understanding of you but it's never that simple until you have an actual conversation with that individual. You know what I mean?
*10,000 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
4. Jalissa's Friend Pt. 2 (Skit)
This just another skit except this time it's two females gossipping and putting their noses where they don't belong... Like what females do.... FACTS!!!
*0 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
5. Looks
This album has an "sex underwater sound." Like the soundscape literally sound like what 90s R&B music would sound like if you was getting it on underwater. Wishy washy and sexy.... Anyway this song dope too and his voice floats better through this song than the previous ones. Tory was even nice enough to give us a verse. It wasn't dope or anything profound but for the kinda lane he is in he don't really need to be. This just a nice simple verse to get his story out.
*10,000 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
6. Juvenile Freestyle
I don't know how you turn "Back That Azz Up" into a rough sex ballad but I'm aaaaallllllll the way down with it. This right here is straight DOPE. When Drake attempted this he came off like a serial rapists or "light skin." When Tory Does it is straight flames.
*10,000 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
7. Niggas Talk (Skit)
Here we got another skit. Just some males talking more than females these days (I hate I did that Drake reference). But dude just giving his homie some bad advice. I'm 100% down with cheating but fellas it's time we stop cheating and be the faithful black men that we were created to be.
*0 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
8. S*M*N
Hold up, hold up, hold up. Now if you gonna be sampling the queen Beyonce and her background singers from her Destiny's Child days then you better be one of the illest people out. Not artist, not singer, not rapper, but ILLEST PERSON!!!! Fortunately, he kind of did this song justice. He gave it a chopped and screwed trapped remix that reinvents the whole song.
*9,000 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
9. You Got It Worse
Hold up, hold up, hold up one mo'gin. We sampling Usher now??? Same thing with Beyonce and her backup singers, you better be one of the ILLEST PEOPLE doing it especially when sampling the ultimate petty classic jam that is, "You Got It Bad." Tory matches the petty level that Usher set for this song years ago, showing 2015 dudes how to be petty in a manly grown-up way.
*10,000 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
10.Walked Out
Dope, Dope, Dope. The only problem is y'all need to stop pining over someone who doesn't want you. Honestly, there are so many other better uses of y'all time.... Like figuring out how to kill the person they with.... Just a thought.
*7,000 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
11. Save It Ft. Ed Sheeran
This song is classic just for the fact it has Ed Sheeran on it.
*10,000 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
12. Keisha
This song just reinforces the fact of why you should never trust a woman named Keisha. Every Keisha I have ever known, has always been no good. Just think about. Do you know a Keisha that's almost kinda decent???? Nah, I didn't think so. But anyways this track is cool way to end this tape. It's definitely not the best but it works and it fits and that's the main thing.
*6,000 out of 10,000 Fire Emojis*
This being my first time listen to Tory Lanez I didn't really have any expectations. I just knew he was from Canada and figured since Drake is from Canada he must be wack but I was wrong. Tory might just have a future in this business. He is a little more emotional than what I would like but he does a pretty good job of making it dope so I guess I'll look pass it.
*Tory Lanez "Chixtape III" gets 9,000 Fire Emojis.*
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